be your girl
by ruin princess
Summary: “It’s fine. Seeing them together won’t make me cry,” i said to myself. the phrase alone was like a mantra. “I’ve been waiting for that. I thought you won’t realize,” he whispered to my ears as he near his lips to my neck


"**Be your girl"**

**Ruin princess:** I just made this one shot recently. The song featured is "Be your girl" by Chieco Kawabe.

**_Baby, I wanna be your girl  
Baby, all I need is you_ **

Today marks my third year here in Alice academy. Many things happened that made me stronger not only for myself but also for my friends and loved ones. Those hardships and problems that we faced before made us all realized how important each of us is to each other.

Lately, I too just realized that natsume is important to me. His very own presence made me safe and secure. In those times that I needed someone who'll offer his or her shoulder for me, it's always him. Even though he's a sullen guy of few words, even thought he's the kind of guy who doesn't socialize with others, he still cherishes them. He still is willing to protect them even though it'll cause him his very own death.

And lately, I just realized that Im starting to like him…

_**Even though you're with me so much now  
Even though you love me this much now **_

**_Time isn't on my side  
I can't be your girlfriend_ **

During lunch time, I saw him with ruka and my other classmates. Then I realized that Asae, his long time girlfriend was with him too. Clinging like a monkey. I saw natsume staring at me causing me to smile at him. I eyed the couple who's near to my table. Asae was talking so much about things that natsume didn't care about, while natsume was staring at me. It made me think why I didn't realize these feelings of mine as soon as possible. If I only did, then I'll be the girl who'll always be with him. Im the girl whom he'll protect anytime and Im the girl he'll cherish forever.

_**Again and again I thought I was okay with that  
I'm sharing you with somebody else, but  
Again and again I cry knowing I don't want that, "(I wanna) be your girl..."  
Even if it's a lie, even if it's just for my peace of mind, tell me I'm the only one **_

**_It hurts when the anesthesia of your kiss wears off  
Are you leaving already?_ **

Natsume and Asae started going out when we're still in our sophomore year. Little by little these feelings of so called love were with me yet I didn't realize that it was. From time to time I'll cry all of a sudden after seeing them having a good time together. I should have confessed to him earlier but I didn't because Im not strong enough, strong enough to welcome those upcoming consequences after that.

What made it more complicated was the fact that natsume and I are close. Spending three years here in Alice academy, seeing him almost everyday made us closer than ever, closer to what other people thinks.

"It's fine. Seeing them together won't make me cry," that's what I always say to myself when I wake up everyday, like a mantra, a mantra that I wish will make things true.

_**Telling myself it would be cowardly to cry here  
I'm gritting my teeth and holding myself back **_

**_Again and again I thought I was okay with that  
I'm sharing you with somebody else, but  
Again and again I cry knowing I don't want that, "(I wanna) be your girl..."  
Even if it's a lie, even if it's just for my peace of mind_ **

Days passed and I found myself being more attracted to him. It pains me to see them together. During weekends, when I do my shopping with hotaru and my other colleagues, I always see them eating at that restaurant where he used to bring me in, when he's still courting me. When I still don't know that I like him, when I still don't know what I really am too him. That was before Asae came in, before everything was ruined.

**_Come on, please  
You're the only one inside me  
Tell me I'm the only one you love  
There's just one thing I want, I simply want all of you_ **

During freshman year, the Alice festival to be exact, Im was the one who's with him, he confessed his love to me at that infamous tree where we always hang out before. I didn't know back then that I like him, or anything like that. What I know before was that he's important to me, important like everybody else.

**_I won't run away from the world waiting ahead on this path  
I want to see for myself where it leads  
Even if I get hurt even more than I have already, "I'm gonna be your girl!"  
There's no way you can stop me, because this is the way I feel_ **

I wasn't able to bottle my feelings together tightly. One day I didn't have a choice but to confess to him. That point came into me a couple of times but this time, Im sure, what ever the consequence will be, I'll accept it.

"Im gonna be your girl," I was cheering for myself. I don't care if asae will know or not, I don't care if it'll kill out friendship. I won't run away from these feelings. I wanna be his girl…

**_Again and again I thought I was okay with that  
I'm sharing you with somebody else, but  
Again and again I cry knowing I don't want that, "(I wanna) be your girl..."  
Even if it's a lie, even if it's just for my peace of mind, tell me I'm the only one_ **

After school I asked him if I can have a minute with him. He agreed immediately. He didn't even have any second thoughts about it. About asae looking for him, nothing. He looked so sure, so definite that it made my heart beat faster than it already is.

"I like you," I said it. I said it so fast that it made me thought, "Did he even understand that?" I didn't meet his gaze. He was quiet. He was standing in front of me his breathing was still composed. It was a failure that I decided to just leave it like that. I want to run away from him. I don't want to hear him saying "Im sorry,"

I turned my heels to walk away, to escape this mistake that I just did.. but he didn't allow me to, the moment my back was facing his handsome face, he grabbed me then hugged me from the back. And using his seductive yet composed voice he said

"I've been waiting for that. I thought you won't realize,"he whispered to my ears as he near his lips to my neck.

He made me think so hard that my head started hurting. It happened all so fast that Im all confused. Is that a yes? Does he love me too? I didn't said anything. I was quiet.

**_Baby, I wanna be your girl  
Baby, all I need is you_ **

"What about asae?" my voice was breaking while I was saying that. He was silent then said, "I love you first,"

I faced him then said, "You did. But what about asae?" he just smiled at me "I'll talk to her,"

He hugged me again. His hug now was more possessive.

"Your mine,"

"I am you girl natsume," I whispered

He just whispered back "let's do something unforgivable,"

**the end**

* * *

**A/n: **my first one shot. Please be kind.. hee hee.. thanks for the review..


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